Ian Francis Gardner A-gain (once more)

Ian is finally HOME!!

This is Ian in Korea, sometime shortly after being born. We have NOT been holding back! We just got these pix!	This is Ian in the arms of his Korean foster Mother.
Ian looking like Scallion Head—even way back in Korea!	"Just take the picture!" sez The Boy.
We thought Ian's struggle with mighty plants first happened here in the US—yet we see here that that was not his first tussle with a plant. (Note Ian's size in relation to the adult foot, bottom left.)	Another picture of the boy before he emigrated.
He REALLY looks like Scallion-Head here	Little Ian and friend.

Numerous things have happened since last I wrote anything. The Boy has learned to blow raspberries. Repeatedly. Continuously. Until, of course, daddy holds the mike up to his mouth and begs, "Do a real good one for the web site!" At which point the Boy, of course, clams up—just his little way of giving his ol' dad a different kind of raspberry. If I catch him off guard, his rasberry WILL be digitized and promptly uploaded. Till then, you'll have to wait and trust me. He's only 6 months old. I should be able to figure out a way to out-smart him.

[This update may come across as even more dijointed than usual because everytime I hear Ian do a raspberry, I quick grab the mike and open up SimpleText and try to record him. But when he sees the mike, Ian just wants to put it in his mouth, resulting in the recording of a sound more disturbing than a FatBoy Slim single or a George Dubya stump speech. He sees the mike coming from a mile away. I must work on camouflaging it.]

Development number 2: We can definitely feel a tooth or two breaking through on his lower gum in the front. Marguerite, the Van Wagner's little girl, already has two teeth! Well, little girls mature faster than little boys: that's why psychologists recommend men not get married till they're fifty or so; and even then they should marry twenty-year-olds—a mental health trend that seems to have caught on only in Hollywood...as well as in the 3-foot no-fly zone that surrounds Newt Gingrich.

The Boy has had his first major illness! (Those of you who had money on "urinary tract infection" can pick up your winnings at the pay-out window. Poor little Boy still has to have a test done next month that will entail his having to have a catheter inserted, so enjoy your winnings if you can! Sure, the catheter was funny when it was Greg but now we're talking the boy.

A week or so ago, Adrienne noticed a little blood in Ian's diaper when she went to change him. I was working my weekly night shift that night so she called me at work after making an appointment with the pediatrician for that very night. For someone who claims she was freaking, Adrienne really kept her wits about her.

The doctor assumed it was a urinary tract infection—which subsequent tests confirmed it to be—and treated it thus.

So now we have to "collect" another urine sample (nice word, "collect", makes it sound like the urine might just be lying around pre-packaged) in about another week so they can see how the Boy's doing now that he's off the meds; then, next month, the catheter thing.

Poor boy!

Ina's Raspberry!

Back to the Top

Another Total Eclipse of the Gut: Ian struggles to emerge against the gravitational pull of the Dark Side of his Pop-Pop's Belly

Ian and his Posse—The Dogg Kennel—take a break from recording their latest gangsta rap album, Just Gimme Da Gerber's! When it comes to rapping, no one can spit game like Da Boy. (Told you I'd steal that one, Mike.)

Grandma doesn't approve of Da Boy's music—but Ian knows being misunderstood is an Artist's lot.

"Do ya really think this thing will keep me from throwin' down da rhymes?! No way! I'm gonna keep on being real, Dogg!"

Rejected cover art for Just Gimme Da Gerber's! Though Ian is the talent of the group, he insists that his boyz, Da Dogg Kennel, be featured just as prominently.

Ian knows that Ninjas and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms like to wait till you're asleep to attack, so he keeps his lethal weapon hands ever at the ready.

Da Boy smiles as he listens to the first playback of the album's first single, "411 Is a Joke! Directory Assistance, HA!)"

An adoring fan falls prey to Ian-mania

To The Ian Main Page

Another Total Eclipse of the Gut: Ian struggles to emerge against the gravitational pull of the Dark Side of his Pop-Pop's Belly	Ian and his Posse—The Dogg Kennel—take a break from recording their latest gangsta rap album, Just Gimme Da Gerber's! When it comes to rapping, no one can spit game like Da Boy. (Told you I'd steal that one, Mike.)
Grandma doesn't approve of Da Boy's music—but Ian knows being misunderstood is an Artist's lot.	"Do ya really think this thing will keep me from throwin' down da rhymes?! No way! I'm gonna keep on being real, Dogg!"
Rejected cover art for Just Gimme Da Gerber's! Though Ian is the talent of the group, he insists that his boyz, Da Dogg Kennel, be featured just as prominently.	Ian knows that Ninjas and the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms like to wait till you're asleep to attack, so he keeps his lethal weapon hands ever at the ready.
Da Boy smiles as he listens to the first playback of the album's first single, "411 Is a Joke! Directory Assistance, HA!)"	An adoring fan falls prey to Ian-mania

Ian is finally HOME!!

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