Ian the Sailor Man
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Ian looks at it askance..but what is "it"?
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Look closely...that's right, more drool!
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Ian begins to lose patience with the whole "cute baby under
the blanket" routine.
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Big Boy on the Big Bed
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Again with the blanket? Been there, Done that...
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Three generations of Gardners Keepin' it Real
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Ian looks at his favorite Dogg, Da Fresh Sushi
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Caelin gives the camera his best Jim Morrison stare. The
cameraman burst into flames inexplicably after this shot
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Caelin and Ian wear the hats LL Cool J gave them
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Daddy pouts as the boy sez, "Back off, Dogg!"
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Ian does his daily Iroquois Twists
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Matt, Sue and Caelin in front of one of the phoniest looking
beach backdrops ever. You foax live in Kansas! We're not
fooled!
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Yeah, Sue, nice, quote, beach, end-of-quote.
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Caelin sees camera, is not pleased. Drop & roll, Mr
cameraman!
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Adrienne, the Boy and me at a real beach. Note how at
a real beach the background colors don't bleed into
each other.
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Caelin gives the Boy hair care tips while Caelin's proud
Papa (who runs his own salon) looks on approvingly
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That's Ian on a Bear Statue at the zoo. You can't tell it's
a bear because I had to agree to cut the picture off before
it reached butt level. And that wasn't because the
bear demanded it...
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Uncle Wombat gets some baby practice
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Ian and Matt bond on the couch
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The Boy pretends it is a chore eating his food. In truth, he
likes everything, even stuff his dad wouldn't eat, and
he's eaten stuff on a dare. The Boy envies the cast
of Survivor, saying, "Mmmm...roast rat..."
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That big head, that little body, and no discernible neck. O,
it's there all right. That's where all the
food—formula, peas, apple sauce—that escapes his
mouth coagulates: in the folds of his neck.
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The Boy takes his exer-saucer outside for a spin on the
lawn. Here, he's doing donuts. Hey you kids, get off my
lawn!
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Having been ordered off the lawn by his geezer dad, the Boy
takes off, saying over his shoulder, "Don't blow a gasket,
Pops!"
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 Ian on
his first date with Marguerite Van Wagner, one day older
than he. He likes older chicks.
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 Ian
points out the old dude who was making all that racket to
the local constable. He then generously posted bail to get
his pops outta the clink.
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Spontaneously and without any help from the adults, Ian and
Marguerite decided, in celebration of their 6 month
birthdays, to put on these hats and sit themselves down on
the couch. This picture was not staged.
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Taking his cue from smooth operator Ralph Wiggum, Ian sez to
his date: "So...do you like...stuff?"
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